Since arriving in Paris I've been wanting to try the Velib', the new bike-rental system that the mayor has put into place in the city and that has supposedly transformed Parisians into much more bike-friendly individuals. The idea is simple: you go up to an electronic post where you insert your credit card and choose an abonnement - one day, seven days or one year. All rides under 30 minutes are free and those that go over have a very nominal fee.
Like I said, it's really simple, at least in theory. Of course, I like to make things more complicated for myself, and so decided one drunken Saturday evening to rent one. I couldn't have chosen to do my first essai (the first time I've ridden a bike in years, mind you) near a park on a Sunday morning. No, it had to be a busy Saturday in the Marais in the time between drinks and dinner. As I had spent the entire afternoon and early evening participating in a pub crawl, I definitely wasn't in the best shape to be mounting a rather heavy bicycle in one of the cities busiest quartiers filled with some Paris' narrowest streets.
During my five minute Velib' adventure, I did learn some valuable lessons:
1) Even if you think you can walk straight while slightly buzzed, you definitely cannot pedal straight.
2) Parisian roads arc in a much more noticeable degree than those in the states and gutters are unavoidable, especially if you've just learned lesson #1.
3) In order to shift speeds so that the pedals aren't spinning like the wheels of a Mazeratti, you have to pedal in a straight line for at least 30 feet or more, again rather hard to do once you've learned lessons #1 and #2.
4) Having a sober friend and consumate cycliste behind you shouting at you to "pedal, pedal" and ignore the cars, doesn't make the looming yellow headlights coming up fast behind you any less menacing.
4) Surprisingly, Parisian drivers don't want to deal with drunken cyclists screaming and skidding diagonally across the road in front of them into a gutter while they are trying to get to dinner on a Saturday night. (How could I argue with the driver who went past me and growled, "if you don't know how to ride a bike, you should walk"?)
5) It is best, if you have just learned the above lessons, to return the Velib' to the nearest station.
Though this was one of the most terrifying events in my Parisian life, I will still attempt the Velib' again, but doucement, bien sûr. Sunday in the 16th might be the best idea, after lots of coffee.
During my five minute Velib' adventure, I did learn some valuable lessons:
1) Even if you think you can walk straight while slightly buzzed, you definitely cannot pedal straight.
2) Parisian roads arc in a much more noticeable degree than those in the states and gutters are unavoidable, especially if you've just learned lesson #1.
3) In order to shift speeds so that the pedals aren't spinning like the wheels of a Mazeratti, you have to pedal in a straight line for at least 30 feet or more, again rather hard to do once you've learned lessons #1 and #2.
4) Having a sober friend and consumate cycliste behind you shouting at you to "pedal, pedal" and ignore the cars, doesn't make the looming yellow headlights coming up fast behind you any less menacing.
4) Surprisingly, Parisian drivers don't want to deal with drunken cyclists screaming and skidding diagonally across the road in front of them into a gutter while they are trying to get to dinner on a Saturday night. (How could I argue with the driver who went past me and growled, "if you don't know how to ride a bike, you should walk"?)
5) It is best, if you have just learned the above lessons, to return the Velib' to the nearest station.
Though this was one of the most terrifying events in my Parisian life, I will still attempt the Velib' again, but doucement, bien sûr. Sunday in the 16th might be the best idea, after lots of coffee.
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